Want a Strong Marriage? Intentional Effort is Key

Marriage is Worth the Work

Marriage is a lot like pulling weeds. 🌿✨

Some issues have deep roots—you have to dig down before you can ever get rid of them for good. And just when you think you’ve cleared them out, those stubborn weeds creep back in.

The truth? Marriage takes intentional effort. It’s not 50/50. It’s 100/100.

Yes, scheduled date nights are important, but so is accepting outside counsel when needed. Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is bring in a set of fresh eyes and ears—whether that’s a trusted friend, mentor, or professional—to help you recognize the deeper roots that need to be pulled. The deep, root-killing kind of work is what makes a marriage thrive—not just survive.

The work isn’t a burden—it’s an investment. Hard conversations, moments of grace, apologizing even when you don’t fully understand, letting go of the small annoyances (like that dang potato chip bag left open again 🙃)—all of it matters.

I don’t get it right most days. But I’ll never stop showing up—pulling the weeds, doing the work, soaking up the sunsets of the times we do get it right & remembering that it’s worth the work. 💛

If you and your spouse are looking for ways to strengthen your marriage, whether you're struggling or simply want to grow deeper together, here are some of my favorite books, devotionals, and resources that have made a difference for us.

My Top Recommended Marriage Books & Devotionals (All Christian based & Pro Marriage)

💛 Books That Have Transformed My Marriage

📖 Love is a Decision – Gary Smalley
This book ABSOLUTELY saved our marriage. No exaggeration. Gary Smalley became a good friend of ours after we attended one of his conferences that changed everything for us. (I may have to share that heart-breaking and hilarious story one day!) If you’re serious about strengthening your marriage, this is a must-read. 👉 Get it here

📖 The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman
If you haven’t read this one yet, it’s a must! Understanding how your spouse receives love vs. how you give love is a total game changer.

• Audiobook Version
• Book Version

📖 The Meaning of Marriage – Tim Keller
A VERY DEEP, biblical approach to marriage that challenges cultural norms and gives couples a strong foundation for their relationship. Highly recommend- but it isn't an overnight read! 👉 Check it out here

📖 The Meaning of Marriage Devotional – Tim Keller
If you want to dive deeper into spiritual growth as a couple, this devotional is a great companion to Keller’s book. 👉 Get it here

📖 Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion – Gary Chapman
If unchecked frustration or resentment is creeping into your marriage, this book offers amazing tools to process emotions in a healthy way.

• Book Version
• Audiobook Version

📖 Anger to Intimacy – Gary Smalley & Ted Cunningham
A powerful book on how to turn frustration into deeper connection.

• Book Version
• Study Guide

💛 Devotionals for Couples

📖 The Story of Us: A Couples Devotional
A great resource to keep God at the center of your relationship. 👉 Find it here

📖 Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your Marriage – Dave & Ann Wilson
A real, raw, and funny look at marriage struggles, with biblical wisdom to help couples reconnect.

• Audiobook Version
• Book Version

📖 Catching Whimsy – Bob Goff
Not a marriage book specifically, but a devotional filled with joy, positivity, and encouragement to love others well. 👉 Check it out here

💛 Resources for Blended Families & Stepfamilies

📖 The Smart Stepfamily – Ron Deal
Blended families come with unique challenges, and this book provides wisdom, encouragement, and practical tools.

• Book Version
• Audiobook Version

📖 Building Love Together in Blended Families – Gary Chapman & Ron Deal
Applying the 5 Love Languages to stepfamilies for better connection and understanding.

• Book Version
• Audiobook Version

Marriage Conferences & Resources

💛 Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference – If you and your spouse need a reset, whether you’re struggling or just want to invest in your marriage, this conference is an incredible experience. It’s run by FamilyLife and provides couples with the tools to reconnect, communicate, and work through challenges. 👉 Find a conference near you

💛 FamilyLife.com – This site is FULL of amazing marriage resources, from articles to devotionals to podcasts. I often recommend their resources for couples who want to grow deeper together. 👉 Check them out here

Final Thoughts

Marriage is a journey—one that requires constant tending. Some seasons feel easy, like what a garden looks like freshly weeded. Other seasons feel like pulling weeds, over and over again. Remember it is a season. But the effort is never wasted.

If you’re in a season where marriage feels hard, I just want to encourage you: you’re not alone, and it is worth the work. 

What’s one way you and your spouse invest in your marriage? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear from you! 💛